Trust?

I'm not happy.

I can't even explain it.

I need Brittany.

I need someone. Someone to tell me everything is okay.



I just don't know what to do.

Decisions are hard. This isn't fun. It's not going to be fun, but something has to happen. I can't live like this forever.

Days go by.. feels like they're flyin' :)

This week has been a whirlwind of craziness. I'm so glad it's over. One quarter down. Three to go.

Melanie and Ward came over on Wednesday. My best friends are so much fun. We watched random Disney movies until they made me switch it to The Dark Knight. Bah. Ward left and then Melanie and I were cracking up giggling all night.

We woke up and proceeded to bake 168 cupcakes. Oh my gosh. OOOooh my gosh. Never have I been so sick of cupcakes. Kim picked us up and we dropped the cupcakes off at their house and went to the mall. I got new jeans, a shirt and some earrings. Woohoo. Also, I got a Steelers jersey! Woo!! Went back to their house and decorated cupcakes and wrote a paper. Katie and Jason came over and then we took them home. Melanie was being a lil grumpy butt, but I had a sweet conversation with Ward. He's amazing. <3

Today:
Woke up. Watched 2 episodes of Rizzoli and Isles. Came to my house. Now we're re-watching Rizzoli and Isles. WOohoo. <3

Game day!


Tomorrow:
Competition day. :)

How does she knowwww?

Today promises to be fantastic.

School til one. WOOOOOOOOO. Afterwards, hanging out with Ward and Melanie. :)


Em's birthday party while Melanie and I force Ward to watch Enchanted. Ooh, what fun. :)


Hahhahaha :)

Byebye!

I'm a princess, and don't forget it.

So, I'm starting to be more productive at school.

I'm almost finished with all my work in AP World for ch.11. That is surprising. Mr.Wogatzke was proud that I answered a question without even looking at my paper. I'm actually starting to care. Wohooo!

Fourth period was cool. I just love filing/sorting/dealing with that horrible music library. Hoorayy for Pete, Jessi, Melanie and Christina who helped me. Ward just came and watched. What a cool kid.

I'm in DESPERATE need of seeing my girls.

PS. Rachel Whitaker made my morning. I love her. To the moon and back. Yep. That's right. She's the coolest person I know. :)

My chains are gone, I've been set free.

I am attempting to write a research paper. It's not working out so well. I'm such a procrastinator. I get easily distracting by blogging, facebook, postsecret, music, texting... pretty much everything around me.

Wanna know something weird?

I thought my life would end when my group of friends graduated last year, but in reality my life has just begun. I have a new circle of friends. I have my old circle of friends. I have a great boyfriend. I have a fantastic best friend. My life is crazy. I feel like I never get a break. This coming fall break is not really going to be a fall break, it's going to be rushrushrushfunfunfuncompetition. Bahhhhh.

I miss Brooke Hess. You don't understand. She's my brother.

I'm super excited about life right now. School is killing me though.

:)

I have been slapped by swiss cheese.

Thursday night was our fall band concert. Did I mention that I love Prince of Thieves?!

So, didn't get home late from that. School the next day.

Friday was school spirit day. I wore my band tshirt. Woo. Fourth period was a pep rally. Gah, that lasted forever. Went and said hey to Tonya on the bus. Went back inside. Went with Ward and the guys to Arby's. Went back to school. Got back on Tonya's bus. Drove her car across the parking lot and went with her to put her blanket down and to Dollar General. She bought me sweetarts. I LOVE her. Went back inside, got ready for the game. Went outside and practiced. Lined up in the parking lot. Saw a bunch of alumni. Performed our show. Performed the National anthem and fight song. Game time. We got creamed. Brittany was there. William freaking Byerly lost my letter jacket. I was highly upset by this. Tonya told me not to let anyone have it again. Yeah yeah. I went up to the concession stand and they were out of hot chocolate. SO MAD. Walking back to the stands, chatted with Coach Miller. Drank Jimeson's Pepsi. That is how thirsty I was. I was just mad. If it wasn't for Jimeson, I honestly don't know what i'd do in school. Band is my outlet. They're my family. After the game, went to the good ole Oak Valley for a sleepover with Rachael and Taylor and Melanie. Bahahhaha, I did something that I've never done before. Taylor slept on my feet all night. bhahah, but I guess that's what happens when there's like four people on a bed.

Melanie and I got up and went to Cracker Barrel and Tractor Supply. That was chill. SO chill. Came home. Took a shower. Went and visited Mamaw and saw her brand spanking new snazzy truck. I'm in love with it. In loooveee. I want it. Came home. Did some homework. Now, I'm waiting for Ward to get off and then we're going out. Woohoo. :)

Take another breath away...

http://www.purevolume.com/Holly_Furches

I saw Mr.Ken liked this on facebook and I went and checked it out, and little does she know, hearing her voice made my day. I miss Holly Furches.



Ward continues to argue with me over the color of my pants. He drives me crazy, but in a good way. I'm so excited for this weekend. He's amazing, so sweet.


I miss Haley and Brooke. I miss my girls. I lovelovelove this new group i've acquired, but I miss my old one, terribly.


On Friday night, I realized I have so many people there for me. Cindy on the away side of the bleachers, then Tonya waiting for me and keeping me warm the whole third quarter. I've known Tonya for 5 years now. I honestly couldn't live a day without her. She's one of those people who I can't help but love more than this world. She's been there for me always. She cracks me up, and I love that she's not afraid to be who she is around me. We're close. I don't want that to go away, ever.


I am ready to throw my science homework across the room. I know that's not going to accomplish anything, but I cannot find two answers and I am going to SCREAM. SCREAM. SCREAM.

Anyway, I'm not having such a hot day.

Goodbye.

Still falling..

I know this is gonna be kinda mushy, but I'm ridiculously happy when i'm with Ward. He always puts me in a better mood, and I couldn't think of anyone else who brings out that side in me. We joke around all the time. He's so mean. Hhahaah, but he's also my best friend. I know I can talk to him about anything and he's always really supportive/ always there. I love that. I love him. ♥

So, I'm absolutely in love with the song Prince of Thieves.

I got the Incredible Machine today. I love Sugarland.

Tomorrow: Hopefully there will be some punkin' carvin' with Melanie. That's all.

backs.

I am absolutely in love with the fact that Melanie and Ward would do anything in the world for me. I'm also so glad they both love me for exactly who I am. They're awesome. 'Nough said.

This week:

Looking forward to ::

THE INCREDIBLE MACHINE CD!!!!!!!
Punkin' Carvin' with Brannock
Band Concert: I'm super excited about one of the songs :D
Homecoming (BRITTANY BRITTANY BRITTANY)
Spending the night at the Bundy's (I'm real excited about this too)
Breakfast at Cracker Barrel with Brannock
Going out with my boyfriend ♥
Church
Working on homework/ project with Anna Banana :)

Uhm my life is going grand right now.

-Later

This blog is for Rachel.

Today in first period we were talking about my blog.
So.... I have to mention a lot of people.

Isaac told me I should write about him. Ooh Isaac. He steals my gum in 3rd period. We were talking about Shannon's dance auditions. I hope she does fantastic!!!

Rachel. Oooh Rachel. There is no person like her. I love to watch her walk from behind. Hahahah. She walks with me to the bathroom every single day during break. We were sitting in first period the other day and we were talking about secret things and tattooed fishes. I love first period. Rachel attacked Jimeson's computer and it's totally yellow. Bhahahahahha, I love you RACHEL! :D:D:D

I LOVE first period with my goddess, Taylor. She just is freaking amazing. I worship her as my religion. Hahahahah. We have the most wonderful time in first period. I can't believe we didn't really like each other at first. Now, we eat lunch together and have amazing conversations and we never know what is going on at school. Hahhahhahaha. I looooove Taylor and the fact we always have interesting conversations. She's so pretty. I'm jealous of how she always wears cute outfits, but atleast my boyfriend holds my hand. <3 Love you!


Ward, oh my goodness. He makes me so happy. I know some people say you don't need boyfriends at my age or whatever, but I don't care. He's been really good for me. My whole attitude has changed. Every time I talk to him, he makes me feel special. I love holding hands and walking down the hall. I just love being with him. ♥♥♥


Melanie and I had and interesting fourth period. I think I was extremely hyper and that just added to it. We goofed off. Cool. I love my best friend.

It's Tonya's birthday!!!! She's the most beautiful person. She's been a wonderful person for me to be around the past five years. She knows me. She's been there for me when i've had no one else. Her hugs are amazing. I love you, Tonya! I always will.

If I die young...

I've been in kind of a depression mood here lately. Monday was test filled. Tuesday was kinda better but test filled again. After school was practice and I hate the way we are yelled at. It's so ridiculous. We were leaving practice and I freaked out because Tonya's bus was NOT THERE. Lord, she scared me to death. She called and told me why. I'm much better now. I called Melanie and talked to her for a little while. I the proceeded to watch Glee. This week was much better than last weeks and the week before. Taylor Bundy has been my lifesaver lately. I honestly don't know what I would do in first period without her. We've had so many great stories and sparked a wonderful friendship. She makes my days SO much better. I love her.

So, in middle school, your biggest worry is what you wear and who is your BFFL that day. In high school, it's not only what you wear, but who your friends are and how they 'make' you someone different.

-Overall, I think I have surrounded myself with a fairly good group of people. I mean there are some people that annoy the crap out of me, some are really bad influences, some that just need a friend, and some that have been with me through the hardest parts of my life.

I don't understand why it's so easy to pick on someone, but not to tell them exactly how you feel. When you stand there and laugh, it makes a person feel terrible on the inside. Suicides and cuttings are results from the laughter people receive in the halls of school. How would you feel if you lost your best friend because of someone else's hatred. That's horrible. I know I'd be devastated if I lost Melanie.

Melanie has been my best friend since the beginning of 9th grade. I don't know how it happened, but we've formed a bond that most people would kill to have. We think alike in so many ways, it's honestly a wonder we aren't siblings. I've been there for her in the hardest times over this past year. I've been the best friend I know to be. I know I'd lose part of me if something were to happen between us. I honestly see a friendship that will probably last the rest of our lives. I just wanted her to know that I love her, even though I get in bad moods and say things I don't mean, I know she's going to be the one who ends up listening when no one else is. I love that i'm practically a part of her family. I love that we spend every waking minute together. I have a feeling that what people think is tearing us apart, is only making us stronger. She's a lifesaver. She's there. She's my best friend.


This girl in marching band just asked me if I hated her. That really made me feel bad. I want to know what I did to make her think that. I just don't know.

This world is crazy. It's stressing me out. Decisions suck. Ward tells me everything is gonna be okay. He's so sweet. To be honest, he's really been amazing dealing with my random moods. I don't think I could ask for a better boyfriend.

I miss Brittany and how we used to go into deep conversation about stuff. It sucks that she isn't here anymore.

I was looking through old pictures and it's amazing how we've all grown up. I love it.


Okay, I think i'm done with my soap box for today.

With love,
CMillaaa

Ooh, I have a text message!

The days are going shorter.

My life feels like a rush.

I'm hardly ever home.

I'm always at school or doing something for school.

Band is exhausting.

I practically live in the band room.

Katie thought I lived at Melanie's.

My boyfriend makes me happy.

My best friend and I have a telepathy thing going on.

My family is crazy.

I've become addicted to Lego Batman for my DS.

I'm being tested to death.

-CMillaaa (:

Some call it magic..

Yesterday was Friday.

I woke up. I got ready for school. Headed off to Mamaw's and she made Papaw ride in the back seat to school. Bahhahaha. Got to school. Nothing spectacular happened. Taylor was late again. I didn't get any cake. Mmm, second period arrived, I actually made a 90 on Noel's grammar quiz. Sweet. We took our vocab quizzes and read 'The Song of Roland.' After that, third period arrives. Mr.Wogatzke cracks me up. I went on a lunch date in the band room with Jessi. I am a genius and told Lorena and Becca they should only do their own flags and they loved me because of this. Hahahah. After lunch, back to third period, it was game review day and I actually answered two questions. HAHAHAHHA. YES! Then fourth period rolls around, we play through our music and then I help with uniforms for the rest of the period. At 3:10, Haley and I go sit on Tonya's bus and chat with her for a while. Bahhaa, lemon water. Mmm. After that, we rush out of the band room and to Ward's car. AHAHAHHA, interesting car rides with Rachael and Chloe. Next stop is McDonald's. We all get chicken nuggets, except for a few of the losers. THEN BRITTANY ARRIVED. I left with her and she tried to steal from the BP. Bhahahhahaha, I think that was the funniest thing ever. We always have interesting times together. I can't wait to see her today. I miss her, tons. After that, we got ready for the game and I went back outside to see Tonya and such. We got a kind of downer speech from Jimeson about how people in the band room are slobs. I totally agree. It's gross. Next, it's bus riding time til we get to Reynolds. My Mamaw and Papaw were there to support the band. They even stayed after the game to watch us. My family is awesome. We won the game 34-0. Shocking. I know. It was amazing. The bus ride home was even better. Then we got back to school. I didn't go to bed til like 12:30 and I woke up at 8. Ugh. Not what I planned on doing. Now I have to was my band clothes and get ready for competition day. :)

Today: Competition day :)

Like a kiss goodbye...

So, I'm completely IN LOVE with the new Little Big Town album. It's all I listen. My favorite song off the cd would be Kiss Goodbye. I love it.


I love the Bundy girls. Taylor and Rachael are two of my favorite people. I met them both this semester. They make my days so much better. Taylor sits with me in first and Rachael sits with me in fourth. They make me laugh so hard. I love them :)

I attacked Chloe's phone yesterday. Her banner now says, 'Carrie loves you!' (:

I'm super a whole mega a lot excited that Brittany will be home this weekend and I get a chance to be my 'tumurr' self again. She is my best friend. I miss her terribly.


And anyways, I'm sitting here chatting it up with Taylor and Ward. My day is slowing dragging. I need sleep. I can't wait for this week to be over.

-Later.

Feels like i'm falling....

Thursday:

I got to hangout with lil Clairebear and MaceyLou. I ate dinner with them and then we headed out to Hannah's Closet and they got so many new things. That was neat.

Friday:

I told Ward that I wanted the starburst in his hand because it was red. Hahha. I headed off to Charlotte. Mi familia and I went to On the Border which is a Mexican restaurant outside of Concord Mills and then it was time. Time to go to the Verizon Wireless Amphitheater. We got there and I think I had one of the best days of my life. We waited in line where I ended up telling the lady how amazing Sugarland is in concert. We went inside and I got my fantastic new tour tshirt which I will be wearing tomorrow. The show started off with some dude named Randy Montana who needed to refrain from the use of strobe lights. They are not becoming and give people headaches. Next up was Little Big Town, who I might add did an amazing job... and then... AND THEN.. it was time for Sugarland. The old lady beside me was staring at me because she seemed just amazed at how I knew every word to every song (minus the new ones) that they sang. I love Sugarland. It was great.

Saturday:

I woke up at like 10:30. Shocker. I know. I never sleep in. I woke up to a text that made me really happy. Next, it was time to make a cell. Ewh. That was too much work considering I've lost all motivation to do anything. Then it was time to get ready. I wore my red dress to Jeana's wedding, but I didn't get to see the wedding cause I watched lil Ainsley Rose on the playground. She'd slide her baby doll down the slide and then get it and then do it all over again. She then wanted to push 'baby' in the swing. Hahha. She's adorable. The wedding reception had BBQ which made everything better, but the music was a little less than to be desired. There was nothing to dance to. What is up with the DJ not even playing the chicken dance?! Gay. After that, I went home and slept. Hallelujah to resting :)


Sunday:

Woke up around 8:35, turned on my phone. Mel and Ward had already texted me. I don't like this whole sleeping in nonsense. Told Mel I wasn't going to church and talked to Ward til he went to church. I did some of my homework and ate breakfast. Mama and I went to Walmart. At Walmart we got the new Little Big Town cd, which reminds me the new Sugarland album comes out on October 19 which is 16 days away. Then we came home and turned around and went to Mamaw's for lunch. MMmm, so good. Mamaw told a funny story. Kay came in and told another one. Jeana and Lance came and got their stuff that appeared at Mamaw's and then they left for their honeymoon. Aunt Lois then attempted to teach Mamaw how to make a ribbon. Bahaha, Emily and I almost peed in our pants because we were laughing so hard. We came home and I forced myself to do the rest of my homework. Now that i'm finished, I can enjoy the rest of my Sunday afternoon. Mmm, yes :))