Should I give up, or should I just keep chasing pavements?

I feel kind of empty. I don't really have much to say, which is weird. I've read two books and started on another in the past 3 days. I wish I could understand why I feel like vomiting and crying when I should feel happy and excited. My birthday is in 3 days. I cannot wait. I'll be 16, but no license til May 3rd. Oh well, it's better than not at all. I miss how I used to fall asleep texting and my battery would be low by the end of the day, but that hasn't been the case lately, and I miss it. I'm so ready to get back to school. Honestly, I cannot wait to start new classes, but the only person I really want to see is my boyfriend. I wish I got to see him more than I do. I miss him terribly, and I feel like I haven't seen him or talked to him in days and I worry too much and worrying plus not hearing anything for over 24 hours makes me feel sick to my stomach. I don't know what to do. It's hard to take your mind off of something that means so much to you.

Like a lightning boltttt.

Well, yesterday and the day before were just peachy. Ranting about stuff to Taylor helped me a lot. We decided to be rant buddies. I'm glad we're not those girlfriends of brothers that like despise each other. That would suck. Anyways, ranting was very entertaining at some points. Hehehe. I love her! So, he finally decided to call and apologized for hurting my feelings. I think my temperature went up just from having that conversation. Oh well. It was peachy. But, talking things out helps. Always does. I just wish I was as important as everything else, but it's whatever. This sucks. I could cry. I don't really know what to do. :( So, yeah. I miss my girls. My birthday is in FIVE DAYS. HALLELUJAH!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't wait to get my present from my parents. I'm so excited. Anyways, I've watched all 14 episodes of CSI on my DVR and I'm really bored, so I think it's time to go read some in Charlie St. Cloud. I guess I should stop starving myself and eat something too.

Later, ♥

Sunshine

I miss you.

Little Misunderstood

So, yesterday my feelings were terribly hurt. You told me you were going to call your mom and see if you could come over, but instead you go out with your friends. Then I try to talk to you and you are completely rude to me. I haven't talked to you since you left for wherever you were going and then you're like i'm not going to talk to you if it's going to be junk. So, yeah, my feelings were hurt. I almost cried, but you don't know that because you don't have the decency to call me. You got your phone taken, but yeah, you still have a house phone and a phone book. So, yeah. I can't wait to hear the excuse this time. Why does it always seem like i'm disappointed? Why? My feelings were hurt. But of course, I don't matter. I'm just Carrie. No one really cares what I feel like. So, yeah. Just ranting in my blog. I felt like a loner and so unimportant. Taylor Bundy made my day yesterday. I've never known how empty a person could feel until yesterday. It was awful. I could see where all these people on postsecret and sixbillionsecrets come from with all their stories of near death experiences and suicide attempts. I used to tell myself that boys weren't important and I don't need one to be happy. I thought I was fine and staying with that, until now. I feel as though I can't live life without talking to him at some point in my day, but I'm working on not being so attached. It breaks my heart that I haven't seen him in days and that there's nothing I can do about it. When he leaves next year, I'm going to be a complete and total disaster. I know it's coming. I'm scared to death of the future, I really am. I'm learning how to deal. It's going to take a lot of pain for me to be okay.

Hoping that tomorrow is better.
Peace and Blessings, (:

Band geek!

So, I opened up a new tab to start this blog, and I ended up playing CityVille for like 30 minutes before I realized it was open again. Hahah :)

Today was the "band exam".
I went to school.
I hung out in the office all day.
Melanie and I finished that crap we were post to pass off. It was not fun.
We played Family Guy Monopoly and Dominos until the bell rang.
It was actually a decently fun day.
I left school.
I baked a chocolate pound cake.
My tummy is filled with chocolate goodness :)

I miss my boyfriend.
Being sick sucks.

SERIOUSLY?!

Ug. I'm home sick today. Good thing I didn't have an exam to take anyways. So, yeah. I woke up because I started coughing. That was fun, not.

So, lets start with last week. Thursday was the first exam day. That was so much fun. I love my biology class. They make me laugh and smile. I emailed Mrs.Richardson and I got a 94 on my exam. I was so so so so so excited. I went to the orthodontist office and sat there while Em got her retainer fixed. Geez. I was livid when I left there.

Friday rolls around and I spend all day in Wogatzke's room with his regular class and Sarah. That was fun. I went and ate lunch with Melly in Ms.Duggins' room and we changed the wallpaper/banner on Rachael's phone. Hehehe. I love them. Then I went to Winston again and it took forever to rent ski equipment and then we ate at Hero House and went to Best Buy and all that good stuff.

Saturday gets here and I wake up earlier than I do for school. We get ready and leave for Ski Beech. Woo fun. Turns out that I felt too bad to ski. It was awful. My legs started shaking and I couldn't do it. I was almost crying because I was the one who wanted to go skiing in the first place. I was so bummed. I felt awful. There was no signal up on the freaking mountain, so I didn't talk to anyone all day. Ward called on my way home telling me about all district, but other than that, I didn't talk to him much all day. It wasn't cool.

Sunday.. I woke up thinking we were gonna go to church, but apparently mama didn't really wanna go. So, I text Ward and he's already there. Hahhaha, the only reason he goes to first service is cause I do, so he was stuck. Hahahhaa, I laughed. I miss that boy. He makes me feel so loved. So, I went to Walmart with my mom and then she dropped me off at my mamaw's where I proceeded to have a Carrie learns Statesville through drawings time. That was cool. I guess. So, it's time to eat lunch and Aunt Libby and Uncle Arthur stopped by from Raleigh and Aunt Lois came down for lunch like she does sometimes. It was entertaining. I left and went to my grandparents house and we were there forever. I couldn't talk because my voice is crackly, so I was so bored. It sucks being sick. I came home and ate supper and stuff and ending up crying my eyes out. It wasn't cool, but I'm glad to have it off my chest. Anyways, I fell asleep texting Ward. I miss him so much :(

Monday... well, today.. I woke up because I was coughing. Ug. I feel like crap. I texted Mel and she's at school taking an exam. Boo. I have to go to school tomorrow. Yayyyy. So, I'm watching CSI and I think I'ma attempt to get up and take a shower and get ready cause we have to go get Justin's birthday present and then take the stupid ski equipment back. Woo. Exciting. I am so ready to not be sick anymore.

Like Bro says-
Peace & Blessings :)

"Friends Don't Push Friends Out Of Trees"

Well, since my blog has become so popular, I figured I'd give someone a laugh today. (hint of sarcasm)

First, I don't think it's funny that people sit around and talk about my blog. It's kind of like a personal diary thing. So, yeah. I don't think it's funny for you to sit around and have family conversations about my life. I don't care what you think or whatever. It's not like you're important. People get me no where in life. Just leave me alone. I don't need anyone. I can stand all by myself. I'm strong. Obviously, you aren't, or you wouldn't be jerks and make fun of my life.

Second, I despise these know it all Yankees that try to come in and make Davie County school systems like where they came from. We aren't like where you're from, so if you don't like it, go away. Stop trying to make us have two high schools or complain that we have ESL programs or that your kid isn't going to get a quality education. Last time I checked, it's always been like this and it's always worked so, go away. No one wants you here, or at least I don't. I was so livid after I overheard that conversation in the orthodontist office. Seriously, it just proves my point that people are not important. I can stand alone. I'm strong.


Today I could use one of the famous Taylor Bundy phrases "I hate my life."

Sometimes, you think people are your best friends, but it just turns out they are secretly hating you behind your back or talking trash about you. I don't want to be like this. I don't like people. I miss Taylor Bundy. I miss my Biology class. That was a great class. I loved it. We played BS for rounds and rounds today. It was such a great ending to that class. I'm ready for 2nd semester though. I'm having a lovely status conversation with Taylor and Taylor. Hahaha, we all hate people. It's awesome. We're awesome. I want to go to Bojangles' just to complement Taylor's eye rolling. I can't wait to have my driver's license. I could go and do whatever I wanted. Be with whoever I wanted. Looks like i'm stuck not seeing Ward for a while. Oh well. I'm watching CSI at the moment. Woo. Life will be better in approximately an hour or so.

Like Bro says,
Peace & blessings :)

Partyyyy onnnn

So, yesterday was really good. It was four months with my love. :D

Tales from yesterday:
I got up at like 7 and started my laundry and watched CSI for a while. Then I took a shower and watched The Price is Right for the first time in a really long time. Bleh. Then Emily forced me to watch Hannah Montana. Ward was on his way by then. So, he got here and we went on an adventure. I took him on the back roads to get to Statesville. He was like.. I thought I had seen Davie County.. but I definitely haven't. Hahhahahahahah, so funny. Mmm, went to McDonald's on our way to the movies. I sat there and used the free wifi. Hehehe. Then we made our way over to the lovely Marquee Cinema and watched Little Fockers since it was the only one on a convenient time. After that we sat in the car and talked. Talked about us and the future and life. It was good. I like that we sat down and did that. After that, I treated us to Starbucks, WOO! We sat in that parking lot for a while just talking about everything still. I couldn't ask for anything more. I love spending time with him. I really do. He's been so, so, so good for me. Dear Jesus, please don't ever let him leave me (or for him to get that super hot girlfriend he wants). Please. I don't want anyone else. Like seriously. No one gets me like he does. He listens to me and cares. Just don't let anything happen to us. I love him, so much. <3


Also, I'm super excited about my birthday sleepover with the girls. It's going to be so much fun. They're such a great group of people. They're the best friends I could ever ask for. I love you guys :)

I'm havin' a bad bad dayyy

Okay so:

Friday: School was school. I got to go out with my love. Ahhhh. We went to Miller's Pizza Barn. I was shocked that it was actually decent. We came home to my house just to find out that Ward had to go home since my parents failed to tell me they were leaving. Boo.

Saturday: Got up and went to school. Rachel sat on me and Ward held my arms so that I couldn't start walking to first period until after the bell rang. Thanks guys. So, school was still school. Fourth period we watched Despicable Me. HAHAHAHHA. I love that movie. The theme song is SO catchy. I LOVE IT! I bought it for my iPod. Hahahah. Mmm, so I learned Ward fails at solitaire, so yeah. It absolutely took everything in me not to kiss him goodbye. It was almost painful. It sucks. So, afterschool I got to ride with Haley to Hut of the Pizza. We met Jenn and Mel there and we had a partayy, hahhaha. After that, we were off to Walmart and looked at car freshners and cupcakes. Woo. I got to ride with Jennifer home. Hahha, we took the interstate. It was like her first time all alone. I'm proud.

Sunday: I got up and went to church. I got to hear Caroline sing. I'm so proud of her. I was just so excited. I sat with Ward and my mom and sister. I left there and went to Walmart. That was thrilling. After that, we dropped Emily off at Mamaw's and came home to unload the groceries and then turned around and went back to Mamaw's for lunch. Yumm. Came home again and i've been watching CSI ever since. I love that show. It's so addictive. My iPod just died, so I think I'm gonna go plug it in.

<333

I miss you.

I miss my bestfriend :( It's been a week since I've seen her. Booooo. Today has been productive... kinda.

So, last night I was texting Ward and I was like flipping out because my DVD player stopped playing and I thought it was plugged into the wall... So, daddy came home and was like "Carrie, are you one of those people with no common sense?".. It wasn't plugged into the extension cord. I felt dumb. So, I woke up and watched 2 episodes of CSI and then I read like 3 chapters in Charlie St Cloud. Then Emily and I watched The First 48 and America's Funniest Home Videos. Mama came home and I finally got to get out of this house. HALLELUJAH! So, yeah. My day has been real boring. I'm excited to go to school tomorrow. <3

Come on winter days, come on go away.

I am ready for springtime now.


So, the snow has yet to go away. I need to go to school. Review for an exam before we take it... would be nice. I'm not a fan of this Saturday school mess. I have to take my first period exam that day. Fantastic.

Monday is four months with my love. I guess we're gonna go out and do something. Woohoo. I miss him. He listened to me rant for 30 minutes last night about stupid Verizon. I think it's just hilarious that he admits he's whipped. Tehehe. He's amazing. He's the reason for my smile. I'd be a serious disaster without him. When I'm with him, nothing else matters. Jesus, please don't ever let him leave me. He's too good to be true. We grow closer and closer every day. Don't ever let anyone take that away from me. He's one of the best things to ever happen to me. ♥

So, I've decided to create a travel list. I want to see the world.
-Nashville, Tennessee
-New York City, New York
-Las Vegas, Nevada
-The flower mart in California that's in Valentine's Day.
-Athens, Greece

I can't wait to travel and go somewhere that I actually want to go, and not being forced to go. It'll be wonderful.

So, my feet are super cold and Joe/JED told me to blog about it. We're having a scream war. Yep. That's cause we're cool. I'm apparently going to learn how to play raquetball soon. Wooo. This is going to be terrible, but alright.

I miss Brooke Hess. I miss our bromance. I miss our mini ice creams and mickey pancakes. I can't wait til I get to see her beautiful face every single day when we're the beastiest picc players ever. Hehehe, I love her ♥

Boo snow!

So, I'm freezing my butt off. I wish I was warm. I need to finish the 11 questions of that stupid biology packet and hopefully I'm done with this semester. Hallelujah! I've been watching CSI non stop the past couple of days. I gotta stop and be more productive. I'm freezing. I miss my boyfriend. I feel like I could sleep forever.

My boyfriend takes my breath away. I couldn't ask for anyone better. He finally admitted that he's whipped. Hahah! I love him, so much. He makes my heart melt and gives me chills that go all the way to my toes. I can't lose him, ever. He's my sunshine.

Like a hand out the window when a car goes byyy.

Well, where did I leave off last?

Let's see. Friday I didn't get to go out with Ward cause he was sickly and so I came home and watched CSI and started my frickin ridiculous Biology packet.

Saturday I woke up, watched CSI and did part of my homework. Went to Heather and Kevin's for Jenna's birthday party. Got a phone call at 9:15 from mamaw. Her neighbor's house is on fire. We came home through town since all the roads were blocked off and you could smell the smoke from Jericho. I could see the cloud of smoke from my deck. It was insane.

Sunday I woke up too late for church. I heard Caroline now sings in the praise band. WOOOHOOO! I went to Walmart and got new binders and such for next semester. I can't wait for lunch. I just can't wait. So then I came home and did part of my abundance of homework until it was time to go to mamaw's. After I ate lunch, I went with mamaw up to see Mr. Armond for his birthday (except for the fact he didn't tell anybody and we were just bringing him dinner). Anyways, after that Charles, mamaw, mama and I walked up to where the fire was and were all neighborly and such. It was like a crime scene from CSI. It was kinda scurry. The old lady died in the fire. So sad. Came home and did everything that was due for Monday.

Monday: I woke up today and realized hey, we don't have school. So, I watched 7 episodes of CSI and I haven't eaten anything yet. Awesome. I finished my science powerpoint and emailed it to my teacher. I hope it works. So, now i'ma go and read some in A Separate Peace and do some more of the science packet and then fall asleep watching CSI :)

Lil piece of today

I'm obsessed with watching CSI. I am addicted. I got some chocolate ice cream tonight. Woo! That's about all I have for today.

Love,
Carrie

Hey Carrie, don't complain.

Today was the first day of school back for the new year. Woo! It was a struggle to get up, but I got up and went to mamaw's for breakfast. Mmm, good. We had bacon and eggs. I went to school and had to go on a search for Lorena and Sarah. I got help on my vocab and made my way to the good ole band room. Dropped my stuff in there and went to speak with Mr. Wogatzke about this week in his class. Bleh. Went back to the band room and my just wonderful boyfriend was standing in there. He makes me happy. Next, I walk to first period. We had a substitute and Taylor was late, again. I wish she wasn't late so much because then I have to sit next to a person who smacks their gum the entire class period. Ugh. Time for second period and Rachel isn't freaking here, so Sarah and Lorena are in the bathroom and Sarah got water in my face, rude. We went to the library and everyone was like oh my gosh Carrie, stop touching James's butt. Ugh, I have a boyfriend, I don't want Haley's. Second period was kind of a drag. Off to third period, Bailey doesn't have my brownies, jerk. I get help on all my fifty billion questions. Lunch bell rang and I ate lunch with my Taylor. I love her, so much. Went back to class and we have a quiz and I totally beasted it. I made a 100! Heck yes! I like passing things. Next, it's time for fricking band. I despise that class on days like today. I don't want to learn the all district solo. I don't see any point in it. Bleh, I ran outside to the buses to see Ms. Tonya. I finally got the hug I've been missing. Well, I went back to the band room and walked with Ward to the breezeway and then daddy picked me up. I came home and I've been doing homework ever since. I am now off to study for the horrid world history test tomorrow. Bye bye people.

Grissom Versus the Volcano

I'm really bored. I'm watching CSI for the tenth billionth time. Ward worked today, so I haven't had anyone to talk to. I am so not ready to go back to school tomorrow and I wish Wogatzke would email me back about the essay/test crap. There is only 8 days left of first semester. Before we know it, it'll be summer again. It's only a month until I turn 16. I'm so excited. Too bad I don't get the license til May. Anyways, see you guys tomorrow.
With love <3

Another day, another year. We made it.

2010... Where to begin... Started out the year as a freshman with no reality and in a very angry mood. I didn't like people, they didn't like me. It all started in concert band. My group of girls that I find myself loving are the result of that class. I could not ask for better friends. I love them so much. Graduation hit and I thought it was the worst day ever. I sat with Ward(We had decided to become best friends.) and watched all of my group graduate and walk away from Davie. Turns out that I survived and I grew away from them and realized I'll be okay. It's no big deal and I still love them, but life moves on.

Summer hit. Boy was I in for something. I volunteered at Blaise Baptist Church Summer Day Camp every single day from 7 to 5, no pay. I went from the Youth Room to Mocksville Elementary for breakfast and then I returned back to church in time to do sounds for the assembly and then I spent the day helping around and staying mostly with pre k and kindergarten. Next thing I knew, i'd be in the bed by 7. It was exhausting. I worked with Joslynn and we always had a great time with the kids l, but my heart was taken by three second grades: Claire, Mollie and Tanner. I'd give my life for them. I love watching them grow and learn through Jesus. Another thing about this summer was that I strengthened my bond with Ms.Tonya. That woman has always been there for me and I cannot express my love for her. She's beautiful and amazing and is always, always here for me. This summer I kinda hit a deep depression. It was terrible. I seemed depressed and angry all the time. I talked things out with Mrs. Joye and Mr. Ken and I understood I was going to have to get away from everything and just be me. I spent a lot of time with Mel and I started talking to Ward more and more. Melanie and I decided to step up and volunteer at our church VBS and we had SO much fun. I can't wait for this year. Watching kids grow through Jesus is the most amazing thing I've ever seen. I found my favorite bible verse and I keep it so close to my heart. Band camp started and I started to hangout with Jamie every day. That was an interesting time. Slutbucket.

School started back up again and I'm separated from my whole group of girls. It's terrible. Taylor and I were sitting together in first period and that sparked the greatest friendship ever. I love her, she neve fails to make me smile. I wasn't really all that close to Rachel until we started having bathroom adventures. I love her to death. She always makes my days and we are always laughing at something. Marching band was rough. We went all the way to states. We didn't win much at competitions. Ward and I started dating and he's one of the most amazing people I could've ever met. He's turned me back into a happy person. I'm not in an angry depression anymore. I stay up later and I live life. I love him, no doubt I've fallen so fast. Melanie and I grow closer and closer. She knows me better than anyone else. We're best friends and nobody can break us, no matter how hard they try. Joe and I grew alot closer last year. We've always been friends but for some reason, we grew even closer. He's always there to listen and respond with good advice. I ended the year by going to bed at 11:20 and waking up to a goodnight text from my love.