Capturing Life

Forever?

Last night we had another round of the playoffs. I cannot believe we won. That was crazy. I'm not always the most cheerful person when it comes to me having to stand outside in the cold weather every Friday night of my LIFE. Oh well. I woke up today due to my stupid internal clock, but lucky for me, Ward was awake and I texted him while he was getting ready to go to work. I get so bored when he's working because I seriously have no one to talk to all day. It's such a bummer. I wish we got to hangout more though. We always have the best times, filled with magic and whimsy. Hahhaah. He's seriously the best person for me. He brings out the happiness in me instead of all that negativeness I was filled with last year. He makes me smile all the time. I wouldn't trade that for anything, ever. I love our late night conversations where some how I manage to stay up past 9.. which used to never happen. I love how I'm standing there and he walks up behind me and puts his arms around me and tells me he loves me. I love that we have silly conversations and people think we're gonna end up sitting on our porch being that old bickering couple. Hahahah, I hope they're right. He's my world. I thank God for putting him in my life. He's the best. I want this to last forever.

Please hear me

Thankfuls:

1. My amazing God.
2. My chaotic and crazy family.
3. My stupid 3 am shopping best friend.
4. My simply wonderful boyfriend.
5. My fantastic circle of girls.
6. Marching band.
7. My education.
8... this list could go on and on.


Dear Jesus, I know I have like ten billion things to be thankful for, but can you please help all those doctors and scientists and experimentalists find a cure for Lupus. I was sitting there talking with my grandma yesterday and she was showing me what it does to you. Like it looks like someone burned her in a straight line along her blood vessel, but in reality, she just woke up yesterday morning and it was there. It's so hard seeing her go through so much pain. Make it better. Make it go away. Please help find a cure. Love, Carrie

I'm so lucky to have all those things to be thankful for. I honestly feel like the luckiest girl in the world even if I don't act like it all the time. I'm lucky to have such a great family, an exceptional best friend and boyfriend who cares so much about me. I honestly wouldn't trade my life for anything in the world. I love how chaotic and sleepless it is. Life is good. Life is wonderful. <3

Hello World

Woke up way to stinkin' early. I decided I would watch Glee DVDs until everyone else woke up. Yesterday was not as wonderful as Tuesday. I laid around and did absolutely nothing. I got Subway for lunch and came back home. Mama got home about two thirty and we went to Salisbury to see Tangled, but of course the stupid Rowan County parade had to be in my way and I had a major panic attack because there was lack of signs for a detour and it was just not fun. Then I was attempting to get from the movie theater to Ichiban and that was also another detour not labeled and everyone was yelling at me and I don't handle yelling and driving well. I started crying. It wasn't fun, but anyways Tangled was another Disney masterpiece and I'm thinking about dragging Ward to see it to. Hehehehe, he's going to love the day I force him to watch a Disney princess movie. He really is. He has my heart and it just blows my mind that he still picks me. Anyways, Thanksgiving is never really been that great of a holiday for me. I don't like turkey, so I never really eat anything, so yeah, today should be just peachy.

Fairytaleee

Yesterday was like the greatest day of my life.

We did nothing productive in school.
School got out.
Ward and I came to my house for a little while and watched random things on youtube and I checked facebook and all that stuff i'm addicted to. Then we were in for an adventure. I learned that I would have to use my mad navigator skills to get to the Statesville movie theater. That was super exciting. I just couldn't believe he'd never been there before. I actually saved him some money, what now! We saw Harry Potter. Ahh, so good. We came home and I walked in and Emily was watching Glee. I cannot believe I forgot all about it!!!! Therefore, Ward was forced to watch it with me. Hehehhee. I love that boy. I had the most wonderful day. I couldn't have asked for anything to be more perfect. <3

Tales of Yesterday

Yesterday was amazing.

I woke up to a room of girls that I absolutely cannot live without. They complete my life. We took crazy pictures and ate cake which then was smeared across my face thanks to Rachel Whitaker. Ward finally woke up and I talked to him like all day. I went to help set up the banquet and ended up riding around town with Pete, Jenn and Mel for like the longest time. I'm pretty sure everyone thought we were crazy. We ran into Rachel and Haley when we went to Ben Franklin. Awh, I love them. Next, I finally got to go home for a little while and Emily and I had kind of a 'woodwind war', but not really cause we were trying to practice our Christmas music. Then, it was time to go to mamaw's and take Emily. Mama and I went to Ben Franklin and then Dunkin' Donuts and Dollar General. Off to Blaise next where I proceeded to spend the rest of my night. Because I spend every day with those people, it really makes me wonder who my real friends are. This one girl thinks that she's my competition for Ward or something like that and I just think that's the funniest thing ever. He obviously chose me, not you, so like get off my back. I had some interesting conversations with my mommy and Ward's mommy and Edwin. They just make me giggle. Mel proposed to me and I put the ring on my keychain. You don't even understand how much I love that girl. Then Ward left and I walked him to Paul's car and he kissed me goodnight. Oh! And he gave me a piece of that super awesome mint chocolate chip icecream gum. That stuff is amazing. After that I made Mel give me a piggy back ride and Michaela and Jenn were just confused and all. We made a wish on a balloon and sent it in the air. I love my life. I love my friends. I love everything I've become and it's just seriously amazing how my life has changed within just one years time.

I'm okayyyy, it'll be alright again :D

TOMORROW. TOMORROW! TOMORROW!!!!!!

-Game day:
-Hanging out with my boyfriend
-Chillin' in the BR
-Bus ride
-Game
-Bus ride
-Car ride
-HOEBAG'S BIRTHDAY!!! I cannot wait to hangout with my girls. I've missed them oh so very much.
-I'm so excited that I just can't stand it.

-Tomorrow promises to be wonderful.


But today was weird.
-daily routine.
-almost fell asleep in third period. Sudafed is supposed to make you hyper but for some reason it has the opposite effect on me. Bah.
-spent quality time with the copier.
-left Ward to his saxophone practicing
-had a creepy dude chatting with Jenn and I.
-Ms.Shirley forgot us ;)
-ate at Bojangles with mommy, mamaw, papaw and Em.
-studied a little while
-watched wheel of fortune
-wore my mamaw's snuggie
-drove the new ford f150
-came home
-packed a bunch of crap
-chatting with Joe and he actually had to erase his inbox because of me. Hhahahahahah :)


My life is so crazy. I fall deeper for that boy every day. I listen to Sugarland til the point where it drives everyone in my house crazy. I feel like I never have time to sleep and watch movies like I used to. There's so much stuff going on. It's like we get a break, but it's not really a break at all. It's a work fest. It's insane. I just want time to lay around and be lazy, but it's not going to happen for a while. Oh well, I quite enjoy my crazy chaotic life. It's what makes me happy. <3


Oh, and whoever reads this: Joey says for me to tell my bloggers he says hey. :)

Seems so small..

I miss my girls.

Claire & Macey.

It's been FOREVER since i've seen either of them. They are precious and I love them more than my life. It's so cool to get updates from Kelly on how they are and the things going on in their lives. It never ceases to amaze me how God places these people in my life for a reason. He put those two kids in my life to show me that sometimes when life is tough, you just have to get back on your feet and have fun while you can. Claire and I have been so close for the past two summers. She makes my life so much more interesting. I miss her so much. I just met her little sister Macey last summer and she is precious. Kelly their mommy always says "we miss you and we love you". They've taken me in and made me feel loved. I never knew being so close to little kids would bring me opportunities like the ones I've had. I love my girls. More than life. No one will ever take that away. ♥

9.17.2010

September Seventeenth Twenty Ten will be two months ago tomorrow. I'm so lucky to have such a wonderful boyfriend. I was talking to Jessi yesterday about her relationship issues and I was like Ward and I were friends for a while before we started dating. We didn't just rush into things. We took the time to talk and be best friends. To this day, he's one of my best friends. He's seen me angry, hurt, in sweatpants, no makeup, pissed, upset and still chooses me. It blows my mind. I never thought anyone would actually choose to put up with my complaining and bipolar mood issues. It just seriously blows my mind. He's amazing and wonderful even though he kisses me when he's SICK and knows i'm a germ freak. He says he loves me more, but germs and me just aren't friends, so there. He's stolen my heart and I wouldn't trade that for anything, ever. I just wish I could stop time and it could be like this forever and ever. I love you, so much.


&+ Supersupersuper excited for this weekend. I freakin' miss my girls. Can't wait to celebrate Ginfo's birthday. She's one of the greatest friends I could have possibly imagined. SOSOSOSO glad high school brought us together :)

and I I I know i'm not perfect :)

Wow. I was going through my facebook feed and apparently everyone is going single. Bah. That's weird. So, I just got the funniest message on facebook. I just find this whole thing amusing. I need to talk to Joey. It will be a wonderful bashing conversation. I can't wait. I mean, bhahahahahahha, i'm almost peeing myself now. So, today I kinda felt like butt. I got to school and I found out more drama that I didn't want to hear about and crap. But third period rolled around and I finally got to talk to that boy of mine. I miss him like crazy. I don't like this not seeing him thing, but i'ma have to get used to that at some point. Bah. I'm wearing my sexy sweatpants and talking to my wonderfully sexy boyfriend. Hahhaha, oh how I love our conversations. I'm listening to Sugarland and I'm completely in love with their song Every Girl Like Me. I texted Kelly today and she told me Macey lost her first tooth last night. I miss those girls. All three of them. They've taken me in and they love me so much. I'd be lost sometimes without my getaway. I'm so happy with Ward. I honestly couldn't imagine life without him. Two months on Wednesday :)

This week:

Tuesday: project time at SDMS
Wednesday and Thursday: Car rides with Jenn-o :)
Friday: Game day, and Haley's birthday party :))))))) SOOO EXCITED.
Saturday: Marching band banquet. Woo.
Sunday: Church & who knows what else.

I love my life. I fee like i'm the luckiest girl in the world. <3

Times change?

Dear bloggers,

I seriously didn't realize how much I talk until now. I have no one to text. Today has been about the most boring day. Ward's sick and isn't texting me, so I have Mel, but her phone doesn't get good signal at her house, so there isn't really much point in trying to have a conversation there..so, I wrote on Ward's wall wishing him to feel better and telling him that Mel doesn't think my sweatpants are sexy when they so are, she's just jealous. I went to my old church today and I haven't been there in like a year and it was so awkward. Emily and I were walking in and someone who should have known both of us asked me who my friend was. I was like holy crap. Did you seriously not recognize me? After growing up there, being in your Sunday school class for at least four years of my life, how can you forget me? Gah. It was so awkward being there. I know I've changed and grown up, but seriously??? It just blew my mind away. Tanya was the only one who actually carried on a conversation with me. Oh how I miss her and Joe, Vince and Jay. They're such great people and I miss seeing them and hanging out. Joey's been one of my friends for a really long time and it makes me sad never to see them. One guy came up to me and told me he thinks that only half of the band should go to the concession stand during third quarter and it was just weird. I wanted to slap him. I've never felt so out of place. Melanie and I are trying to decide on Christmas presents for each other. This is always my favorite time of the year because Christmas and New Years comes and goes and then it's time for February and it's birthday time :D:D:D. I'm thinking I should get started on a Christmas list. *sigh* Guess that's what I'ma do. Yayyy.

Like Bro says, peace&blessings :)

Wind

My life is flashing before my eyes. I wake up and it's rush rush rush. I feel like I never see Ward and that kills me. Last night Caroline got so excited because she found out Ward and I have kissed. Wooohoo! Hahhaha, some characters make my life so much better. Rachel freakin' Whitaker was all up at the game and I saw her and I got all excited! I quite enjoy my many friends. I love seeing their faces every day. I just wish I got to spend as much time with Ward as I do them, and I don't see a lot of them enough. *sigh* I sometimes wish I had enough time to get away. Enough time to calm down and sleep and get everything done without having to rush my life away. I quite enjoy my weekly chat with Brittany. It's nice to have someone who cares even though they don't really have to.

So, I wish I spent more time with my boyfriend. I mean we see each other, but we never get to be alone. I hate that. I hate to be the ridiculous girlfriend, but I can't stand never being with him. There's always someone watching us and it drives me crazy. There's always people that start rumors and stuff too. It's funny to hear what they have to say, but it's so not even close to true. If you really hate me that much, just tell me to my face. Don't make up some rumor that makes absolutely no sense. Ward and I are dating because we like each other. Not because of all the crazy reasons people seemed to have formed. Wednesday it will be two months with him. I'm glad I found him. He has completely taken my heart and I wouldn't have it any other way. I'm falling deeper. I know I am because every time I see him my heart skips a beat. It's crazy, I know, but I love him.

“Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep... wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup on." ♥
^That was Kristina's status. I love it.

YOU CRAYON YOU!

So, the group came over for our English project. I'm pretty sure we've created so many new jokes. I quite enjoy how Sarah and I were like cracking up over everything and Lorena and Anna were actually doing work... ahhahahahaha. I quite enjoyed our time.

JOCASTA!!!!!!!!


So, I'm pretty sure Melanie made my day. She was all like you're always gonna be my bestfriend. I love you. Awh. I love her too! The thing about Melanie and me is the fact we're more than just best friends, we're sisters. We argue and fight but in the end we know we're always going to love each other. To be honest, she drives me up the wall 99% of the time, but I trust her more than I trust anyone else. She's my home slice. The star to my burst. She sees the emotions roll through me like i'm a book. I freakin' love her and I never in a million years would've thought we'd last as best friends this long. We're always seen as Carrie & Melanie and I couldn't imagine a day of my life without her. I can honestly see us growing up and having sleepovers when we're like 47 years old. I love you, Brannock :)


I kind of got a lot angry in fourth period. I'm pretty sure someone realized I'm not like anyone else and I will ignore you if you make me angry enough. I was all like it's whatever and they were like I know you don't feel that way. No, I don't feel that way. I don't think it's funny that she wants to 'mess' with me. I personally found nothing remotely funny about it and you should know by now that I hold grudges and stuff. But all in the same, I don't think I could live a day without you now that I've grown so attached to talking to you all the time. You're a part of my life and I honestly love you more than life.


So, I'm kind of excited about this weekend. I get to see the beautiful faces of Haley and Brooklynn :)

Bahhhhhhhhhhh.

Today I discovered a long to-do list:

Wednesday: Lorena, Sarah and Anna over for a project in Noel's class. Woo.

Thursday: band thing and chillin' with my boyfriend :)

Friday: game day.

Saturday: Camp out at Brooklynn's with the bestfriends.

Sunday: chillin' at Mamaw's.


Life is short, and yet we fill it with to-do lists. Hahhaah. <3

So, this week has started out way better and I'm so glad. I wish Jimeson would've been at school today. I just heard the cheesiest message he could have possibly sent. Hahahaha. So, I'm pretty sure my boyfriend digs my sweatpants. I think they're sexy. Hahhahahaahah. Yeeah. I'm also pretty sure he's the only person I can talk to all day long and never run out of things to say. He's one of my best friends. <3

I'm now watching an episode of Rizzoli and Isles and it's not near as freaky as the one I watched yesterday. And I'm getting ready to read post secret. woo hooo :)

Yeah, those pants right there are sexy :)

My boyfriend, oohh my boyfriend.

My mom thinks I talk to him way too much, but I just can't help it. We never run out of things to talk about. He thinks i'm beautiful even if I wear sweatpants (which, might I add, are sexy, haha). He makes me happy. I trust him. Sometimes I wonder what I did before I spent hours texting him during the days. I hate the thought of him going off to college next August, but I'm going to have to get over that. He's supportive and tries to motivate me, but it never works. He's been my rock for the past month and even before when we were just friends. I honestly couldn't think of a better person to say oh yeah, he's my boyfriend. He's seriously the sweetest person ever and I love to wake up the next day excited to see him. Ward, I love you. ♥

Dealing with the heavens.

I don't deal with my emotions well. I wear them on my sleeve. Everyone can tell something is wrong or i'm angry and people asks what's wrong. I can't explain it to them/ it's not their business. I sometimes feel all alone in the world and I feel like what's the point in my existence, but other times I feel like the most loved person in the entire world. You catch me on a bad day, and I can screw up a friendship. I've lost way too many people in my life due to stupid things I've said or done or because I don't like their other friends. I'm a very, very jealous person. I hate seeing other people trying to steal my friends away. I know they aren't, but I just think that. I'm one of those crazy people. It kinda stabs me in the heart when I hear people saying horrible things about me and then some people tell me they used to hate me and now they love me. In some cases, they just didn't get a chance to know me and already assumed we wouldn't get along. I get where they're coming from though. I'm a super judgmental person and I complain or have a comment about everything even though sometimes I just don't express it. I'm always one to try and be the teachers pet. I think my problem is that I want people to like me so much, and then yet I don't care what they think at all. People are mean. Words can cut through your flesh. I miss being able to say whatever I wanted to and people just thought I was cute and little. I miss being the little angel who could get away with whatever. I hate people watching me all the time. I'm falling for him more than life, and I'm always worried that he'll find someone better than me. I know I shouldn't be so worried, but I just can't help it. I worry about everything and I'm scared about the future. I don't want to lose the people I'm close to. I don't want to lose my best friend. I don't want to lose my boyfriend. I hope God is listening to this. I need him more than ever, just to keep me sane. I'm in need of a day of watching how is love grows. I've lost faith here lately and I want to recapture it. I haven't been to church in so long. I miss it. I want to go out in the world tomorrow as the start of a new week with a new attitude. I want to stop worrying, stop with jealously, stop with complaining and just live life the way He says to live it. I don't know if I'll hold on to that or not, but it's worth a shot. I love you Jesus. Thanks for loving us when we're lost with our faith. ♥


: And Ward, if you read this, you have my heart. I love you. ♥

What to the ever.

People are ridiculous.

I don't understand why some people tell their mothers everything.

I don't understand why some people have to post statuses when they don't even know the whole story.

I don't understand why you claim to be my friend and talk about me behind my back, the difference is, I don't really care what people say about me.

It goes the same way, budd.

K thanks.

Just breathe, everything is going to be okay..

Why can't we live in a world without fear, without pain, without suffering, a world where everyone could get along, a world without suicide, a world without danger?

Too bad it's not going to happen, too bad we only care about ourselves, too bad people want to ruin other peoples lives, too bad no one can be happy. It's just too bad.

Part of this was my status on facebook yesterday and someone commented it and said, "I imagine this is what Heaven will be like." I quite agree. I hope it is like this.

I learned today during 2nd period that in the Jewish faith they don't know if there is a Heaven or a Hell, so they just live their life doing good because they don't know what happens or if there is an afterlife. Jewish faith is more deeds. I personally am a Christian and this Rabbi we were listening to said that Christian people rely more on faith. I'm glad I have that faith holding me together.

So, I'd like to say that I made Bailey's life today with my, 'I refuse to go see that man. (Why?) HE LOOKS LIKE A TURTLE!" She loves me. I made her cry from laughing so hard. I'm pretty sure I just got some weird looks from Mr.Wogatzke. He's cool. I'm doing quite a lot more work than I used to. I'm lovin' it.

Also, yesterday, Rachel Whitaker. Oh this girl. Oooh my. Well, we were walking to 2nd period and she goes, "I burned a hole through my northface" and shows Chelsea and me. I proceeded to get the story and busted out laughing. I love that girl. She brightens my days. I ran into her on the way to lunch today and that also just added sunshine to my day. <3

Yesterday during fourth period was absolutely ridiculous. I just can't even talk about it. I left class to go talk to Haley in the bathroom. How I miss her so. I can't wait until she turns 16 and gets that license. We're going to be riding over to that place we call IHOP. It will be great. She's a fantastic friend. She's always there when I need someone for advice and just to listen. I love you Haley!

Also, again with yesterday, Taylor was LATE to first period, but we made a cute alien baby and I pledged to her. I worship her. Hahahh, she's awesome. We're always laughing and might I say, our review game team today was freaking amazing. Beastly.

My life has been crazy lately. I finally got to spend time with Joey. This is where i'm going to proceed to talk about how awesome he is. He's been there since we were in grade three. We may disagree on quite a lot of things, but he's always one to listen to everything I say. We share lots of laughter and a great friendship. I love you Joe!!

Now, just for the record, Melanie, Jenn and I were sitting the band room the other day during lunch and I just thought we had about the best conversation ever. Also, I drew Melanie a note and it was just freaking beastly. I love it. I love my friends.

My friends are my support. I'd be lost without them. Who else would let me call them and talk to me for an hour? Brittany. That's who. She's amazing. I miss her. I miss the conversations we would have in the lunch room and standing in the halls. I just plain miss it.

Also, there's always Ward. We've both been going through a lot of drama within the band room lately and I love the fact that I know he's going to be there for me at the end of the day. Even though he makes fun of my accent, I can't help but love him. We've been through a lot just this week and i'm just glad we've made it out alive together. ♥

When you look me in the eyes

and tell me that you love me, I find my paradise, when you look me in the eyes :)


You are the reason I wake up smiling every day. You are the reason I go to sleep smiling every night. You are the reason I'm excited to go to school. I feel like i'm being tripped over and over again. I'm falling deeper and deeper. You are the reason I jump every time I get a text. You are the reason I feel empty when you aren't around. You are the reason I'm one of those crazy people. You are the reason I'm jealous. You are the reason for my smiles, for my laughing, for every great part of my life. I love the way you smile when you look at me. I love the way you tell me i'm absolutely beautiful. I love the way you hold my hand and tell me everything is going to be okay. I love the way you deal with my major bipolar moods. I love the way you call me no matter what time of night it is. I love the way that everyone smiles at us as we walk down the hallway. I love that you don't mind my excessive talking. I love how you make me laugh when i'm in the absolute worst moods ever. I love how you see me in a bad mood and immediately tell me that you love me. I love how you pull me towards you when i'm walking away and kiss me. You don't know this, but I doodle your name over all the notes I take. You distract me from the bad things I don't want to face in the world. You distract me from what i'm afraid to face. You are the reason I have 'irrational fears.' You are the reason I sit around worried because you haven't texted me. I tell you to drive safely because I don't want to lose you. I love you. You are my best friend.