Really!? I mean, really!?!?

I hate February. Everything bad always happens then. Yes, I turned 16, but I've had the worst month of my life.

My emotions are haywire and my body can't handle it. I had a panic attack on Thursday and it was literally the worst experience of my life. I honestly miss Ward with every fiber in my body. People tell me he's not important or worth it or whatever, but I miss being accepted as a person. No one listens to me talk like he does and I just miss it completely. Maybe if I let things be for a while... I may get to actually have a legit conversation with him. I still have yet to tell him about my birthday and that depresses me. I know that dating isn't really an option anymore, but you have no idea what it's like to get so excited about talking and then being completely blown off. Because I'm all for talking and now it's like I annoy people when I speak. I hate that feeling. I miss my best friend. I miss being accepted. I miss my life. Every year February comes and screws up whatever good seems to be going on. I know that my girls are here for me through everything, but I feel like they can't say anything that will make me feel any better. They are wonderful, but it's just not the same.

I spent the beginning of the weekend with the Bundy's. They're so much fun. Rachael and I had to get a ride from Madi because we didn't know we were supposed to ride the shuttle. That was fun. I decided that it would be awful to have to drive that far to school every day. So glad I don't have to deal with that. I love Taylor and Rachael so much. We fell asleep on the couch and I have no clue how we slept like that. I got to see their new house and Rachael and I are beasts when it comes to futon moving. That was fun. I can't wait to get to spend the night over there. It's going to be so much fun!

I went to Bojangles today and dropped my chicken out of the drive thru window and Taylor laughed at me. I complimented her eye rolling. Hahahaha, I love that girl. She entertains my life.

I wish May would get here just a little bit faster.

(: